Assessing research should be an integral process in academic institutions, and carrying the task properly will bring about desirable improvements. Disaster may follow when there are no clear-cut professional standards to be used for judgment purposes. Although some scholars believe that there is “little agreement about what constitutes ‘quality’ in a research publication …, nor how ‘quality’ can be recognized or measured” (Clyde, 2006, p. 181), the criteria for evaluating the effectiveness of research activities are more or less established across different disciplines (Irwin, 2006). The purpose of this paper is to reveal whether any of the criteria experts use to assess the quality of a research piece such as its peer-reviewed nature and journal prestige (Mansilla, 2006) are adhered to in my context and other research centers in Iran, and to ironically introduce a new yardstick which is being used in most research contexts and academic institutions including universities in Iran. The researcher’s own story is recounted to clarify what it means to assess research in Iran. The findings of an investigation (on the status of research evaluation across research institutes in Iran) with 80 English language professionals are reported, and calls for international sympathy are voiced at the end of the paper.